Soooo, it's been an interesting couple days. Cold, but interesting.
Curious? You should be.
Lots of good happenings here in the Springs. Lots of good times and good talks. And even a couple good talks to NY. So all in all, pretty good. But talking with my shrink has unraveled some of my security, which is part of the magic of head-shrinking. There is no way for me to move too far forward unless I am sure of both my present and past. True. I am sure I want to leave the past behind...and sure that the present will turn into the future. And sure that the present is chiock full of nuts. And potential. But beyond that, I am not sure how sure I am of these things. My past has a lot of open wounds that never healed right. A lot of abuse, going way back and creeping up til right now. In a lot of ways. So I think that is the first order of business, right? But then I get to thinking why I was abused and misused...and should I change that now? Before uncovering all of the great secrets I have hidden or tried to forget? Or should I open up all the doors, let out all the badness, and deal from there? I dunno. Anne Porter (my shrink, whom a friend calls Felicity, as in the TV show) reall didn't help me. I think she actually has faith in me. Faith that I will do a lot of figuring out for myself. Which is good in the long run. But right now? Yikes. It's like I have just dumped a puzzle out in a giant field on a windy, snowy day and need to put it together, but someone took the box top!Sucha giant mess, with the world still spinning out of control around me. Phew. That sounds a lot worse than I feel. But you get the point.
OK, so I am headed back to what I consider deeper roots than where I was raised. headed back to the glorious NY Metro are....Westclecter County, mostly. Well, I AM stopping by at my parents' house in NJ, but a lot of time will be spent visiting an old friend (she's not old....just we have known each other for a while) and some familiar places. Drinking familiar hard cider that you CANNOT find out here. Aaaha, Magner's. And hopefully getting together with (No, not sex!) another old friend (same thing as beore), Shawn Patrick Faughnan. Nice, Irish name. Outstanding guy. And probably stop by his new job. I would say where itis, but it has become WAY too trendy to mention the acronym. He puts people before himself. That's all I will say. Another reason I love him. To him, I was Richie, and all of us guys lost our usual names. No one ever called me Richie before the Irish in my life. Shawn is Shawie. Ron is Ronnie. Doug is Dougie. You get the point. And thae ladies? Well, they are called by the most proper of names and treated like gold to us. I used to always say goodbye to my bartender by huggung her, taking her hand, and kissing it goodnight. She became more important to me than any lover for a point in my life. That's a long, long story with no sex for another day.
So, just a short trip. But if I know the parties involved, it will be intense!
Huh. The cat sleeping on my monitor (Biscuit...a 7 month old blue-point colored female) just fell off my monitor and looked around like she didn't know where she was. Then put her head down and went back to sleep! That is why I love cats so much. I love dogs, too. But that is a recently acquired passion, and there is no room here for a dog.
She is so cute...here is a site with an OK picture of a cat like her...the one on the left:
http://www.tonkinesebreedassociation.org/BluePoint.htm
OK. I have to go tend to the inner workings of my home. Catch you all later!
Curious? You should be.
Lots of good happenings here in the Springs. Lots of good times and good talks. And even a couple good talks to NY. So all in all, pretty good. But talking with my shrink has unraveled some of my security, which is part of the magic of head-shrinking. There is no way for me to move too far forward unless I am sure of both my present and past. True. I am sure I want to leave the past behind...and sure that the present will turn into the future. And sure that the present is chiock full of nuts. And potential. But beyond that, I am not sure how sure I am of these things. My past has a lot of open wounds that never healed right. A lot of abuse, going way back and creeping up til right now. In a lot of ways. So I think that is the first order of business, right? But then I get to thinking why I was abused and misused...and should I change that now? Before uncovering all of the great secrets I have hidden or tried to forget? Or should I open up all the doors, let out all the badness, and deal from there? I dunno. Anne Porter (my shrink, whom a friend calls Felicity, as in the TV show) reall didn't help me. I think she actually has faith in me. Faith that I will do a lot of figuring out for myself. Which is good in the long run. But right now? Yikes. It's like I have just dumped a puzzle out in a giant field on a windy, snowy day and need to put it together, but someone took the box top!Sucha giant mess, with the world still spinning out of control around me. Phew. That sounds a lot worse than I feel. But you get the point.
OK, so I am headed back to what I consider deeper roots than where I was raised. headed back to the glorious NY Metro are....Westclecter County, mostly. Well, I AM stopping by at my parents' house in NJ, but a lot of time will be spent visiting an old friend (she's not old....just we have known each other for a while) and some familiar places. Drinking familiar hard cider that you CANNOT find out here. Aaaha, Magner's. And hopefully getting together with (No, not sex!) another old friend (same thing as beore), Shawn Patrick Faughnan. Nice, Irish name. Outstanding guy. And probably stop by his new job. I would say where itis, but it has become WAY too trendy to mention the acronym. He puts people before himself. That's all I will say. Another reason I love him. To him, I was Richie, and all of us guys lost our usual names. No one ever called me Richie before the Irish in my life. Shawn is Shawie. Ron is Ronnie. Doug is Dougie. You get the point. And thae ladies? Well, they are called by the most proper of names and treated like gold to us. I used to always say goodbye to my bartender by huggung her, taking her hand, and kissing it goodnight. She became more important to me than any lover for a point in my life. That's a long, long story with no sex for another day.
So, just a short trip. But if I know the parties involved, it will be intense!
Huh. The cat sleeping on my monitor (Biscuit...a 7 month old blue-point colored female) just fell off my monitor and looked around like she didn't know where she was. Then put her head down and went back to sleep! That is why I love cats so much. I love dogs, too. But that is a recently acquired passion, and there is no room here for a dog.
She is so cute...here is a site with an OK picture of a cat like her...the one on the left:
http://www.tonkinesebreedassociation.org/BluePoint.htm
OK. I have to go tend to the inner workings of my home. Catch you all later!
posted by Rich at 1/05/2004 06:40:00 PM
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