The night
And as the sky
becomes lightless
the drops of joy come faster now.
Every blink of my eyes
takes just a moment longer.
My breath ... more regular.
My teeth ... no longer clenched.
My heart ... emerges.
The night gives me time to not only reflect, but to imagine. It's all well and good to take a moment or 42 out of the day and reflect upon things, but the golden slice of life exists in those that have the ability and willpower to let their imagination shine. Sometimes I spend the night running...either at the track down the street or at the Garden of the Gods. Some nights, I actually watch some TV...usually nothing in particular: There really isn't much worth watching. Some nights I do nothing...I sit here and vegetate. Some nights, I am lucky enough to be reading a book...sometimes for my silly book club. But the nights I hold dear are when I am doing one of two things...writing or scheming of ways to include art in my day.
Some things have changed in my life lately, and while I can attribute some of them to the presence of some new (or old) people in my life, some of the changes are genuinely all mine. I have been inspired to reinclude some old friends, and that has brought a joy that I cannot even begin to explain. These are all wonderful people, full of nothing but love and chicken soup. But another little joy comes from getting over someone. I know, I know...Beth was nothing I should have spent much time with. But I did. For who I was, when I was that person, she and I fit. Some things have happened over the past month or two that really make it abundantly clear that she is gone from my heart.
I used to skip over songs that reminded me of her. I used to not go and run the Garden of the Gods, or hike the Incline. I used to avoid places where I feared I would run into her. A friend told me recently that I should, and I quote, "Fuck it. It's her damned fault. Do what you want." Right. That might've been the kick in my pants that I needed to get over it. Her. I can listen to anything. Go anywhere. Exercise when and where I feel like it. Drink where I feel like it. I just regret one thing...that it actually took this damn long to ride the wave out. Well, here I am. Better late than never.
One of my buddies, Jon, I have already mentioned. He and his wife have this dream that they are running. I couldn't be more proud. But not proud in the "Look what I enabled him to do" way. Proud in the "It's a blessing to know him" way. He graduated Alfred in '96, one year after I. At the end of our Senior year, the Art School people were required to hold a Senior Show in which they showcased selected pieces (some new, some old) of art in each of their fields of concentration. Jon's show was one of those that you never forget. One of those that creates a little world around it. His show was steeped so much in his soul. He is a powerful man, in every sense of the word I have ever found. And now, this is the path he is on:
http://www.simplesyrup.com/
Part of me saw myself headed that way, but somewhere along the way I got derailed. I like where I am and what little faith I have manifests itself in the comfort that I am in the right place for me.
Well, that's enough for now. Small doses. I wouldn't want you to OD on RB, would I?
-Rich
becomes lightless
the drops of joy come faster now.
Every blink of my eyes
takes just a moment longer.
My breath ... more regular.
My teeth ... no longer clenched.
My heart ... emerges.
The night gives me time to not only reflect, but to imagine. It's all well and good to take a moment or 42 out of the day and reflect upon things, but the golden slice of life exists in those that have the ability and willpower to let their imagination shine. Sometimes I spend the night running...either at the track down the street or at the Garden of the Gods. Some nights, I actually watch some TV...usually nothing in particular: There really isn't much worth watching. Some nights I do nothing...I sit here and vegetate. Some nights, I am lucky enough to be reading a book...sometimes for my silly book club. But the nights I hold dear are when I am doing one of two things...writing or scheming of ways to include art in my day.
Some things have changed in my life lately, and while I can attribute some of them to the presence of some new (or old) people in my life, some of the changes are genuinely all mine. I have been inspired to reinclude some old friends, and that has brought a joy that I cannot even begin to explain. These are all wonderful people, full of nothing but love and chicken soup. But another little joy comes from getting over someone. I know, I know...Beth was nothing I should have spent much time with. But I did. For who I was, when I was that person, she and I fit. Some things have happened over the past month or two that really make it abundantly clear that she is gone from my heart.
I used to skip over songs that reminded me of her. I used to not go and run the Garden of the Gods, or hike the Incline. I used to avoid places where I feared I would run into her. A friend told me recently that I should, and I quote, "Fuck it. It's her damned fault. Do what you want." Right. That might've been the kick in my pants that I needed to get over it. Her. I can listen to anything. Go anywhere. Exercise when and where I feel like it. Drink where I feel like it. I just regret one thing...that it actually took this damn long to ride the wave out. Well, here I am. Better late than never.
One of my buddies, Jon, I have already mentioned. He and his wife have this dream that they are running. I couldn't be more proud. But not proud in the "Look what I enabled him to do" way. Proud in the "It's a blessing to know him" way. He graduated Alfred in '96, one year after I. At the end of our Senior year, the Art School people were required to hold a Senior Show in which they showcased selected pieces (some new, some old) of art in each of their fields of concentration. Jon's show was one of those that you never forget. One of those that creates a little world around it. His show was steeped so much in his soul. He is a powerful man, in every sense of the word I have ever found. And now, this is the path he is on:
http://www.simplesyrup.com/
Part of me saw myself headed that way, but somewhere along the way I got derailed. I like where I am and what little faith I have manifests itself in the comfort that I am in the right place for me.
Well, that's enough for now. Small doses. I wouldn't want you to OD on RB, would I?
-Rich
posted by Rich at 5/16/2006 07:43:00 PM
1 Comments:
Im so glad you have finally found some solice and your voice. Im pretty much there myself. Well closer to it everyday I think.
Old and everyone knows but...
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
I love Dylan Thomas...
dont give up being that fierce man you had previously been.
And yes I could OD on you...only because I appreciate who you are, where youve been and where youll go..MUAH
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