The world will never be the same size again.
Dearest diary. Please forgive me. It has been many moons since my last confession, and there have been plenty of sins to confess in that time.
But on a serious note, I am stumped with this dating thing again. Or still. My girlfriend got back from vacation and called me the next day. I went to see her that night at her bar. And I stopped in the next night, too. I left a sweet little note on her truck as I left. Then I see her for a bit last night (didn't see/talk Thursday) and ask her when I will get to see her again. She tells me that her schedule changed and we would have to work it out. And that I should try using the phone. Huh. I guess it's my energy that needs to be poured in. Again, me being a giver. I like her loads. I want to treat her well. but already I feel funky about it. We'll see where it leads. I will call her and make pland tomorrow. I am not looking for another full-time job here. I thought this would be easy. I hoped.
So the lady from LI is still deeply in my life. Heck, she might even be reading this. I don't know where things are with us. I know where I want them. I know what I wanted in the past, too. But these convenient, witty, charming, sweet, honest emails still have less emotion than talking to her. I want to see her. We fill this little space in each other's life. She has always been there for me. The kind of friend I fantasized about. Actually a true friend. I wonder how many of those I really have had. Not many. It feels like not enough. But I love what her and I have, so I had better not stare at that gift horse too long.
We never even really spent that much time together. But every moment still sits in the front of my mental memory book. I still have the parking stub from the garage in New Ro when her and I went to dinner. And she wondered if Ben had followed us. We still remember our roots and laugh about them. Starbucks. I will never forget those times.
So, what are your plans for thanksgiving? I will tell you mine, since me asking was really a crappy way for me to make you all feel terrible for my plight. Yup. Working. Me and 2 of the guys from work decided to work that day, and take a long lunch and have a little turkey-day lunch with just us. The few of us that really have no one here. The couple friends I have here all have family here, so they are there. And my girlfriend? She is in Phoenix with her family. So here I am with my work family. Nothing like turkey day with felons. Warms the cockles of my heart. But seriously, they are two really outstanding men. So it will still be good. I bet I will never forget it.
OK, off to bed and stuff. Actually watching a movie until I fall asleep. Sounds good. Then a big breakfast of chai and a bagel and some fruit. I have been thinking about it all day. So off I go. Night, kids.
-Rich
But on a serious note, I am stumped with this dating thing again. Or still. My girlfriend got back from vacation and called me the next day. I went to see her that night at her bar. And I stopped in the next night, too. I left a sweet little note on her truck as I left. Then I see her for a bit last night (didn't see/talk Thursday) and ask her when I will get to see her again. She tells me that her schedule changed and we would have to work it out. And that I should try using the phone. Huh. I guess it's my energy that needs to be poured in. Again, me being a giver. I like her loads. I want to treat her well. but already I feel funky about it. We'll see where it leads. I will call her and make pland tomorrow. I am not looking for another full-time job here. I thought this would be easy. I hoped.
So the lady from LI is still deeply in my life. Heck, she might even be reading this. I don't know where things are with us. I know where I want them. I know what I wanted in the past, too. But these convenient, witty, charming, sweet, honest emails still have less emotion than talking to her. I want to see her. We fill this little space in each other's life. She has always been there for me. The kind of friend I fantasized about. Actually a true friend. I wonder how many of those I really have had. Not many. It feels like not enough. But I love what her and I have, so I had better not stare at that gift horse too long.
We never even really spent that much time together. But every moment still sits in the front of my mental memory book. I still have the parking stub from the garage in New Ro when her and I went to dinner. And she wondered if Ben had followed us. We still remember our roots and laugh about them. Starbucks. I will never forget those times.
So, what are your plans for thanksgiving? I will tell you mine, since me asking was really a crappy way for me to make you all feel terrible for my plight. Yup. Working. Me and 2 of the guys from work decided to work that day, and take a long lunch and have a little turkey-day lunch with just us. The few of us that really have no one here. The couple friends I have here all have family here, so they are there. And my girlfriend? She is in Phoenix with her family. So here I am with my work family. Nothing like turkey day with felons. Warms the cockles of my heart. But seriously, they are two really outstanding men. So it will still be good. I bet I will never forget it.
OK, off to bed and stuff. Actually watching a movie until I fall asleep. Sounds good. Then a big breakfast of chai and a bagel and some fruit. I have been thinking about it all day. So off I go. Night, kids.
-Rich
posted by Rich at 11/06/2004 09:09:00 PM
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