Sorry for the lag.

An apology mostly to myself. In this time I have been having this week, I need this place most. But I have used it so little. Since last entry, the world has opened up and swallowed someone dear. My grandfather (Mom's Dad) passed away Tuesday morning, very early. He was my last grandparent, and someone who has gotten close to me since his wife died 5 years ago. We traced my heritage together. He told me terrific war stories of WWII on a sub. We laughed about a lot of our family. We just finally got to know each other as people, not relatives. It has been a good time. It will be a very small ceremony, and I feel OK not flying back East to be there. I spent many hours Tuesday after work making a plaque for him to take with him, wherever he is headed. FedEx'd it out Weds AM and that will be that. The wake was today, the funeral tomorrow. The world will be a different place without him, and my Mother is not having a good time at all. There is no silver lining. Nothing to sigh relief about. I feel her pain. I wish it away. Until it finds a place to go instead of sitting in her heart, I just feel bad. Helpless. My worst fear:being helpless.

So I ran and ran and ran tonight. Kicked my own ass on the trail. My gut hurts from it. My calves are mad at me. My nasal passages are so clear it hurts to breathe through them. I love it. Took my mind of what it has been dealing with a lot. I needed that.

So here's a question from another blog...do you really think people (guys, in this instance) are generally in better shape in their 20's or 30's? Now, I am used to not being the "norm". Like there is one. But in my 20's, I was in college. And I moved out on my own and began to pay all my loans and bills by myself. So sure, I started with a little beer gut. And then went to starvation in order to make my own ends meet. But late 20's brought loan repayment and beginning to actually make my own groove. Back up to a respectable weight, running a steel shop, making tolerable money and enjoying the outdoors doing it, and exercising like mad. Mountain biking, skiing, running, skating, anything outdoors. This winter I will even don a snowboard for the first time. So that's that. I am in WAY better shape now. I was never far out of shape, but I am in good shape now. I hope I am not the exception. Life is already too short and unpredictable for one to squander it away being a wreck. That's my 2 pennies.

OK, my brief entry has swelled, and I feel better now. So to my grandfather...I hope you found what you thought you would. I miss you already.

And to everyone else, good night and be well.