When you know

There comes a time when you realize that the person you are with is amazingly special. Something happens when you, perhaps suddenly, find out that there is someone in your life worth more than you dreamed. You might not notice it, but if you have your wits and sensibilities about you, you do. The moment you lie down in bed with someone, it's a silent (usually) pact. I don't mean sex. I just mean, when you finally decide to welcome someone into your bed. Your most private of times. Some of our most intimate and embarassing things have happened there. Wetting the bed, crying yourself to sleep, abuse, wet dreams, masturbating, nightmares, well the list goes on. But regardless of whether or not it all happened in the same bed (yikes!), it's something you carry with you and instill into each new mattress. If you agree to lie there with someone, you two are immediately and immensely close. You ever stop to think about that?

An old girlfriend of mine, Maggie, was an artist. Still is, from what I can tell. She had a hangup with beds in her work. I know something major happened to her in bed, but we never got that opened up. I know she began seeing a shrink. And I hope she found resolve. It wasn't until years after we broke up that I realized, we both had beds in our art. I sometimes wonder why it didn't work. If there was ever one person that almost understood me, it was her. One person that almost loved me completely, it was her. I know I will see her one day again. Not sure where, but I know I will. I hope she found the right person for her. And that evil part of me hopes I found mine by the time I see her!

See, sometimes my thoughts actually are worth writing down. It doesn't often come around that I get the chance for self-validation, so I must seize it. Hooray for me.

Nite to you all. Off to do some more reading and perhaps writing.

-Rich