HELP ME!!!!!
Please tell me that I am not the one who is insane here. I HATE talking about her anymore, but sometimes I must. I mean, she is always right here.
Here goes...we go out to see a movie (completely as friends, don't even think for a second there is anything else). Big Fish, BTW. We enjoy it a bunch. The roads are a wreck from the snow still falling. But, I get us there and back safely. She asks to see a picture of one of these "girls" (and she always says it in a crap way) I have begun hanging out with since she dumped me. Because I will NOT bring them around. No way will they be subject to Insane-E-O. So I show her a picture (semi-nude, mind you) of this girl Penelope. Mostly just her shoulders down, profile, with her right hand over her left arm, covering part of a tattoo on said arm. Well, she says she doesn't believe this is anyone I know and "Look at those nails!" Well, she does pay a lot of attention to her outward appearance. She is really quite hot, and knows it. Good for her. She likes her body and has the money and desire to make it look more stereotypically woman-like. And on this one occasion, especially, she got all dolled up and had kinda-long tips put on (no flashy colors, and they only hung off her finger about 3/8"). I say "What? She really likes to take care of hers..." then I get cut off. "That's not taking care of yourself, that's a hooker." Huh. You just called a friend of mine you don't know a hooker because she had her nails done for a photo shoot. So I explain the whole thing. Especially the part about "taking care" of herself being a drastic understatement. I have used it before (we've been friends for years) and she hasn't called me on it. But tonight, she freaked a little. She told me that it was rude and offensive that I thought someone who didn't have nails like that wasn't taking care of themself. Well, I told her to look at my friends in the past. I went to fucking art school! I dated 3 girls with Dreads! I had dreads! I have dirty nails almost every day from work. Most of the friends I have had have been simple, almost tomboyish girls. And she has the nerve to say that.
A half hour or so later, she comes into my room an sits near me and tells me she is still offended at it. I apologozed. I explained myself. I told her I was done. There was nothing more I could do except try to understand her viewpoint. How can you possibly understand and forgive someone, and still tell them you are currently offended from the forgiven actions? That realistically were never wrong! I don't get it. But I am a sweetheart. So I tell her that she should never go a day thinking that I think SHE doesn't take care of herself. I know she takes very good care. But she will never be OK with her body. She still believes in fairy tales of all kinds. She still believes that an active (she loves to run and bike) woman with a 5'-11" frame will be 130 pounds and maintain it healthily. So she says that I am missing the point, and that it's not about that. So I ask why she got so offended if it wasn't about her? She said nothing, except a few stammering attempts to cover her ass. Then I tell her at least I didn't outright insult her or a friend. She asked when she did that (DUH?!?!?) and then DENIED SAYING THAT!!!!!
OK. I must need drugs. I never had these problems when I was a coke-head. I had better problems. Bigger ones, anyway. Or maybe....hmm....you think it might just be the insane bitch wearing me thin?
OK, later, kids.
Please tell me that I am not the one who is insane here. I HATE talking about her anymore, but sometimes I must. I mean, she is always right here.
Here goes...we go out to see a movie (completely as friends, don't even think for a second there is anything else). Big Fish, BTW. We enjoy it a bunch. The roads are a wreck from the snow still falling. But, I get us there and back safely. She asks to see a picture of one of these "girls" (and she always says it in a crap way) I have begun hanging out with since she dumped me. Because I will NOT bring them around. No way will they be subject to Insane-E-O. So I show her a picture (semi-nude, mind you) of this girl Penelope. Mostly just her shoulders down, profile, with her right hand over her left arm, covering part of a tattoo on said arm. Well, she says she doesn't believe this is anyone I know and "Look at those nails!" Well, she does pay a lot of attention to her outward appearance. She is really quite hot, and knows it. Good for her. She likes her body and has the money and desire to make it look more stereotypically woman-like. And on this one occasion, especially, she got all dolled up and had kinda-long tips put on (no flashy colors, and they only hung off her finger about 3/8"). I say "What? She really likes to take care of hers..." then I get cut off. "That's not taking care of yourself, that's a hooker." Huh. You just called a friend of mine you don't know a hooker because she had her nails done for a photo shoot. So I explain the whole thing. Especially the part about "taking care" of herself being a drastic understatement. I have used it before (we've been friends for years) and she hasn't called me on it. But tonight, she freaked a little. She told me that it was rude and offensive that I thought someone who didn't have nails like that wasn't taking care of themself. Well, I told her to look at my friends in the past. I went to fucking art school! I dated 3 girls with Dreads! I had dreads! I have dirty nails almost every day from work. Most of the friends I have had have been simple, almost tomboyish girls. And she has the nerve to say that.
A half hour or so later, she comes into my room an sits near me and tells me she is still offended at it. I apologozed. I explained myself. I told her I was done. There was nothing more I could do except try to understand her viewpoint. How can you possibly understand and forgive someone, and still tell them you are currently offended from the forgiven actions? That realistically were never wrong! I don't get it. But I am a sweetheart. So I tell her that she should never go a day thinking that I think SHE doesn't take care of herself. I know she takes very good care. But she will never be OK with her body. She still believes in fairy tales of all kinds. She still believes that an active (she loves to run and bike) woman with a 5'-11" frame will be 130 pounds and maintain it healthily. So she says that I am missing the point, and that it's not about that. So I ask why she got so offended if it wasn't about her? She said nothing, except a few stammering attempts to cover her ass. Then I tell her at least I didn't outright insult her or a friend. She asked when she did that (DUH?!?!?) and then DENIED SAYING THAT!!!!!
OK. I must need drugs. I never had these problems when I was a coke-head. I had better problems. Bigger ones, anyway. Or maybe....hmm....you think it might just be the insane bitch wearing me thin?
OK, later, kids.
posted by Rich at 1/20/2004 10:17:00 PM
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